It could've been me.

There's this girl. Woman I should say, we're women now. I've known her a long time, since Primary School. I don't remember exactly how and when we met but I do have alot of wonderful & fun memories that involve her. I remember one morning in Grade 3, age 7, giving her half of a best-friend charm necklace behind the portable classrooms of our school. She is beautiful & is a wonderfully kind soul, I can not remember ever having any kind of argument or disagreement with her, we just grew apart and not just once either. Through most of Primary School we were friends, she was in a year lower then me, I actually knew her brother first. They're born less then 18 months apart and he was in my class. After Grade 6 I went to high school & unfortunately the next year she chose a different school and we didn't speak for a period of time.

I chose my school badly & had a terrible time at High School. During this time we got back in contact and I started spending time with her, her brother and their group of friends. Every night we'd ride our bikes or walk to each others houses and do a whole lot of nothing. They were the only friends I had. She had a boyfriend, I didn't & I liked him. Secretly I was jealous of her but I still loved, cared & admired her immensely. During year 8 I changed schools & began attending the same school as my friends. They were not the 'cool kids' and being a silly teenage girl I immediately joined in with the 'popular' group. My old friends & I didn't speak much & now I honestly don't remember the last time I spoke to her.

Today I received a phone call from my mum. My mum is a giver, she gives to her friends, her family & complete strangers. Today was no different, she was giving blood. The nurse that helped her is the mother of another girl we knew from Primary School. This girl is still in contact with my old friend and my mum was given some terrible news.

My friend has Ovarian Cancer. She is currently undergoing chemo but nothing is certain at this stage. What got me most is that she is only 19 years old, with her whole life ahead of her. She may never have children of her own, she may not even survive to try. Such a beautiful person should never have to suffer the pain of such a diagnosis, especially at such a young age. I watched my Grandpa suffer a long battle with many different types of cancers before it finally took him away in November '05. I miss him everyday, but he was an old man & while it doesn't make it easier, he lived his life. She may never get this opportunity and it makes me sick to my stomach. I am angry, at nothing, at everything, at myself. How could I be so swept up in my own life and selfish high school decisions that I never even knew, I was not there to offer support, love, a shoulder to cry on. I was not there even though she was a huge support for me during so many things.

So much time wasted & I must make up for it. This weekend, I'll be down visiting my mum & I fully intend to meet up with this old friend and let her know we're thinking of her and that I'm sorry. Life is too short not to take notice, we have to remember those that are important, they could be gone much sooner then we expect.